Batman vs. Superman – Deciding Who Would Win an Actual Fight

Superman would beat Batman in any fight. End of story. I’m sorry you came here to find some elaborate breakdown of who would win between these two DC legends, but the harsh reality is it’s not a complex argument.

Okay, I’m half kidding. I do absolutely one thousand times over choose the Superman side. However, you’re here, so I’ll give you a few reasons why I think Kal-El would win 100 out of 100 battles with Batman.

It’s still an interesting debate. I mean, they made a freaking feature film on the premise, after all. Of course, there’s no way a Batman vs. Superman fight ends with Bruce Wayne as the victor.

Here’s three reasons why Superman would win.

1. Batman is a Human and Superman is Not

This one is really quite simple. Batman is a human that was born just like the rest of us earthlings, and while he has learned his way to be a very skilled fighter, he doesn’t have Superman’s powers.

Hell, he’d be going into this fight unsure if he could even make Superman bleed.

Seriously, though, at its very base, this argument has to start with the fact that one of these dudes can run through walls with zero resistance, and the other might die if he gets thrown into one.

Batman is very human, so right away going up against Superman is a death wish.

2. All of Superman’s Powers Could Kill Batman Instantly

Okay, so we’ve established one of these guys is an alien that is insanely powerful, while the other is just a dude.

I know, it’s downright blasphemy to slight The Dark Knight, but for the sake of this Batman vs. Superman debate, he’s a human and I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.

How are we not immediately laughing at Batman standing toe to toe with Superman?

I mean, seriously. Have you forgotten all the ways Superman is inherently superior in this argument? Do you need a checklist of his powers?

Fine, here goes.

• Flying
• Super Strength
• Invulnerability
• Super Speed
• X-Ray & Heat Vision
• Telescopic & Microscopic Vision
• Super Hearing
• Freeze Breath
• Laser Eyes

I am going to go ahead and stop there, because this is getting embarrassing. But you can check out the full list of Superman’s powers, and in great detail, I might add.

But come on now. Superman could just fly away from Batman if he didn’t want to fight. Hell, he could fly through Bruce Wayne. He can also withstand any and all punishment Batman tries to inflict, or he can crush him with ease.

If he wanted to be a real dick about it, he could fly Batman to the sun or space. He could grab him and go under water, he could freeze him with his breath, or he could laser the shit out of his face.

Superman could honestly do all of this together if he wanted to be a villain, too. Sorry, Batman.

3. The Gadgets Are Cute and All, But…

Batman’s counter to Superman’s endless string of powers is…a bat belt, some heavy armor, maybe some James Bond-level trickery, and some badass vehicles.

That will get the ladies excited and help produced some cool explosions, but none of that really moves the needle against a freaking alien.

If Batman can kill the sun and make sure Superman has none of his powers, though, suddenly all of his gadgets becomes a lot more handy.

4. Batman Only Has One Trick Up His Sleeve

You came here to see how a Batman vs. Superman fight would go. I already gave you the answer a few different ways, but I’m not naive to the whole Kryptonite thing.

I really don’t get how everyone can access the stuff so easily, but if Batman got his hands on it, sure, he could in theory slow down and perhaps even defeat Superman.

But are we really operating under the stipulation that he can do that and then sneak up on Kal-El before he lasers him into oblivion?

The only way Batman beats Superman is by out-witting him and then lathering him with Kryptonite lava or something. It’s possible, but it’s not at all plausible.

Could Batman Beat Superman in a Fight?

If we’re talking comics or the movies, where writers can take their time to come up with an elaborate plot that weirdly favors the human over the alien for no damn reason?

Still no.

Superman is basically a god compared to Wayne, who is a glorified ninja/billionaire in a combat suit.

Wayne could maybe slow the arrival of the inevitable end result, and perhaps Superman would take it easy on him and merely put him in jail, but there’s only one actual winner here.

Think I’m wrong and Batman could beat Superman in a fight? Let’s hear it in the comments below.

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